Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
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I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
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He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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