If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
