when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
