so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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