This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
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