He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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