where am i from again
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
this will be a night to untag.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
