Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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