My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
