lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
