that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
