...so i touched it.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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