That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize