Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
