Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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