her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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