anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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