Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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