a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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