what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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