hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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