You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
