it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
