the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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