I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
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