yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
