hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
