Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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