So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
