"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
