SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
