help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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