he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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