Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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