Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
