There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
