I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
