Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Randomize
