so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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