It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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