Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
