how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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