he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
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you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.