The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!