Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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