So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
