hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
