My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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