it wasn't lemon gatorade
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
