Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
