can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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