Just cropdusted the office
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
