from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
