What a fucking waste of an outfit
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
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she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
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I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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