It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
