Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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