Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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