i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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